Stewart's Thoughts

It's been two weeks now since Derrick and I stepped onto the beach at Banyuls and into the Mediterranean sea. 47 days and 10 hours after stepping out of the Atlantic Ocean, 500 miles and a whole world away. We had planned to be there the next day, to be welcomed home by family and friends who had travelled out to France to greet us. But the Pyrenees would not release their grasp on us and on a day when we had started walking in a fierce, cold wind, heralding the change into autumn, we found ourselves in 44 degree furnace at 4pm the same day. With no water to be found at our elected campsite due to the hot summer drying up springs and rivers alike, the thought of spending a night on water rations in the heat with the end in sight was just too unedifying to contemplate, so we continued.

We finished as we started really, just the two of us, on a beach. Stepping into the sea was the final act in seven weeks of effort and marked the end. No crowds of cheering well wishers, no champagne corks. Just the pounding sea. I felt a little numb, not overcome with emotion as I thought. I had finished, that was it. I didn't need to think about tomorrow's route, what the weather was going to do, where to find water, did we have enough food. I didn't have to think about where to pitch the tent, washing my clothes, cooking the food, or what kit needed fixing. I almost felt robbed. The Pyrenees were all I had to think about for nearly seven weeks and now I was through them I didn't know what to do next. Two weeks later they still haven't released their grip on me.

I've been asked a lot of questions about the trip, and some keep cropping up over and over. I thought that I might share some of them with you, and my answers. When reading these please remember these are only my thoughts and Derrick may have other ideas. If you want to know his views you will have to ask him.

Q Did you ever think you wouldn't make it?

No. The thought never entered my head. I was fully committed to this and was aware of what I was getting into. I was physically and mentally prepared before leaving and in fact felt stronger and fitter as we covered more and more miles. To me, failing was not an option. Some days were really tough but that's when you just have to dig deep and get on with it. To me, pushing myself gave me a buzz.

Q Did you ever feel homesick?

Before leaving I had discussed with my wife things that could go wrong at home and had made contingency plans for events like the death of a relative. I had her full support in this adventure, as well as my parents in Scotland. I knew my wife would receive support from her family and close friends. This meant that I had a clear conscience and could focus on the challenge whilst not worrying about home. It was always good to hear about what was happening at home via text or the occasional phone call but we were only going to be away for seven weeks, not a lifetime.

Q Were there any scary moments?

Some of the sections are very steep and have to be almost climbed, which isn't easy with 20kg on your back. Some sections even have safety rope to assist on the rock face but even these sections are all crossable. These sections are all on well marked routes, albeit they might only be 6 inches wide in places. If hundreds of other walkers can do them then why should they be a problem to me?

Q There must have been bad days when things went wrong, how did you cope?

I don't believe in bad days. There are some that are just a little worse than others. If it's raining, just be glad it's not snowing. If it snows then just be glad there isn't thick mist as well. There was one day that it was very misty, raining which turned to hail and to top it all a thunderstorm whilst trying to climb a col over 2500m high. I did stop at one point and shout at the mountain out loud, "Give me a chance" and then burst out laughing. You can't get mad at nature, it will always win, you just have to work with what it gives you. The mountains have been there a long time, and will still be there when I'm long gone. Just give hem a bit of respect. If I was to get mad every time it rained I would have given up in the first week!

Q Would you do it again?

Yes. I might not do it the same way, perhaps taking a little more time to savour some of the scenery and staying at refuges rather than a tent. But this was for charity and the deal was to do it in 50 days. This was for charity, not for myself, although I have had a tremendous time doing it and I'm glad I have.

Since coming back people have described us completing the HRP as "amazing" and "brave." To me amazing and brave are words that better describe the dignity with which cancer sufferers conduct their lives when faced with death. I can't imagine what it must be like to suffer weeks of painful treatment and think myself lucky that I haven't had to. We live in times where sensational expressions are plastered continually on our newspaper front pages and we use them almost without thinking. Save the praise and rhetoric for those who really deserve it.

I know it's only a few answers but I hope it helps. I am more than willing to answer any other questions that anyone might have, just drop me a line through the site.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my experience in the mountains and I feel quite proud of our small achievement. Has it changed me? I'm told I don't talk as loud anymore, and I certainly appreciate the simpler things in life we take for granted every day. Clean water to drink. An abundance and variety of food and clean clothes immediately spring to mind. I'm fitter than I have been for years and feel sharper as a result of losing 19kg or 42 lbs in weight.

Thanks to everyone who has supported us over the length of the project. I'm not going to name names as the list would be like an Oscar speech. I just hope that small amount of money we have raised will be of some use to Cancer Research Wales, it's just a drop in the ocean to the amount they really need.